Student 3-D prints girlfriend printed in the Makerspace

The Makerspace at the Robert L. Carothers library has resulted in creations much more innovative than mere phone cases or figurines. Spencer Sullyvan, junior textile, fashion merchandising and design major, has accomplished the seemingly impossible and created his very own, 3-D printed girlfriend.
“It’s not something I ever expected doing,” said Sullyvan. “But I’ve never been more happy in my life to finally have someone that I can always count on.”
Designed in a manner similar to the appearance of Kate Upton, Lindsay Bot 3000 has been dubbed the greatest technological advancement the University has ever seen.
“Not only can she perform the basic performances of a typical human, but she also has emotional responses,” said David Dooley, President of the University of Rhode Island and a strong advocate for reaping the benefits of other such proletariat humanoid robots.
Sullyvan does not see his new girlfriend as much of a technological advancement as Dooley and the rest of the campus make her out to be. “I was just tired of being alone,” Sullyvan said. Lindsay has filled a void within my heart and world that nobody else has been able to fill.”

While a true hermit at heart, Sullyvan has shown to the entire campus what beautiful girlfriend and robot can do to someone. Besides the basic expected tasks of a typical girlfriend (doing his laundry, cleaning his room, and walking him to his classes), Lindsay has branched out at an emotional level and has joined a male supremacist group with Sullyvan on campus.
“Women are supposed to be seen not heard,” Lindsay said. “I joined the MSG with Spencer to help show women all across campus that they are here for the sole purpose of assisting their future husbands. Women who think that they can have careers or hold the same rights as men need to be shown that they are mistaken.”
Sullyvan and Lindsay will be presented at Techspo New York 2017 as the main event, showcasing the superb 3-D printing advancements that Sullyvan has used. After this exposition he will join other leading technology experts in North Korea as they pursue the chances of creating a working class composed entirely of humanoid robots that will make life easier for all humans.
The exposition will start May 8. Buy your tickets soon to support a URI student and the future that he represents.

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Lianna Blakeman
Lianna is a Junior majoring in English & Writing and Rhetoric. She joined the Cigar her freshman year and is going into her second semester as News Editor. In her spare time, Lianna works in the Writing & Rhetoric Office, sits as secretary for the university literary magazine, Ether(bound) and hikes mountains every chance she can get.