Weird stuff happens in my suite all the time. Random people sleep on the lounge floor, suite mates go missing and somehow my socks never make it back from the laundry room. All of that was normal in comparison to the time I found Neo passed out against the wall.

Let me set the scene for you. It’s Friday night at G-Spot and I had just woken up from my pre-power hour nap. I opened my door, shuffling sleepily and rubbing my eyes awake. Now I can pick to go to the left or right bathroom, since my room is in-between the two. Normally I always go left, no exceptions. That night however, I decided to go right and consequently almost tripped over the body slumped against the wall.

This body was bundled in a hoody, clutching its head to its chest and groaning quietly. The room smelled like philly cheesesteak and feet. I’ll explain the smell in a moment. Seeing as how it was a Friday, I figured it was someone’s inebriated friend who had found a comfy spot to deal with the spins. So I stepped over the seemingly catatonic person and hit the bathroom as intended. When I went to wash my hands, I discovered in part where the philly cheesesteak smell was coming from. Someone had yakked in the sink, and impressively enough, managed to fill it almost a third of the way.

Peeved that I couldn’t wash my hands in the usual sink, I went to the other half of the suite to use theirs. To my astonishment, I found that each sink had a substantial amount of partially digested philly cheesesteak in it. And a healthy serving of vegetables too, I might add. Finally awake and thinking clearly, I decided to go check on the slumbering hobo outside my room.

When I pulled the hood away it wasn’t a random person but my suitemate underneath.

“Hey buddy,” I said gently while poking him awake. “How ya feeling kid?”

Neo groaned and rolled over, saying he was fine. With four sinks filled with his dinner, I did not agree. After five or so minutes of talking to him, I was able to piece the story together. He had been off campus and had a small dispute that resulted in him taking a sucker punch to the eye socket. The punch threw him off balance, making him slip and hit his head on the floor.

Between those two buffets, he ended up with a severe concussion that left him in the situation I found him in. After much arguing, deliberation and him storming off into the cold, my suitemates and I were able to convince him to get medical attention.

Two hours and an ER trip later, he was back to G-Spot, as safe and sound as a severely concussed person could be. Though it was Friday, we ended up staying in and watching Game of Thrones until the doctor-prescribed muscle relaxants knocked him out faster than a broken leg in the Kentucky Derby.