Writers rankings… Stephen King adaptations. PHOTO CREDIT: esquire.com
Stephen King adaptations, regardless of their quality, are always interesting. It is how the writers and directors tackle the interesting and, at times, silly aspects of King’s novels that have the potential to make or break the adaptations.
Some of these adaptations can tackle the material and some are crushed beneath it. This is going to be an exercise in brevity because we’ve got 34 adaptations to discuss so let’s get into it.
34. “The Tommyknockers” (1993)
Honestly, it does not even deserve this many words discussing it. 2/10
33. “Cell” (2016)
Far more unintentionally comical than it wants to be. But what else should have been expected from one of King’s worst books? 2/10
32. “The Dark Tower” (2017)
The most insulting adaptation on this list. Eight books condensed to a 90 minute runtime? Seriously? 3/10
31. “Graveyard Shift” (1990)
Watched it last month and forgot about it before it was over. 3/10
30. “A Good Marriage” (2014)
So boring it made me legitimately angry. 3/10
29. “Firestarter” (2022)
I don’t know why it’s so hard for writers to get this story right. 3/10
28. “Mr. Harrigan’s Phone” (2022)
Boring, bland and surprisingly cringey at times. 3/10
27. “Thinner” (1996)
The quintessential 90’s Stephen King adaptation. Awkward, lame and it feels both too long and too short. 4/10
26. “Pet Sematary” (1989)
It’s scary when you’re a kid, sure, but try this on as an adult. 4/10
25. “In The Tall Grass” (2019)
Messy and unfocused. A concept the film couldn’t handle. 4/10
24. “IT” (1990)
Has its moments, but the second half is just too stupid. 4/10
23. “The Stand” (1994)
Desperately needed to take itself a little more seriously. 5/10
22. “The Stand” (2020)
Better than the previous adaptation, but still way more unspecial than this book deserves. And that nonlinear structure did the show no favors whatsoever. 5/10
21. “The Dark Half” (1993)
The most average movie you can find. 5/10
20. “The Outsider” (2018)
A sleek and well put together show that spoils the twist within the first few episodes and fumbles around until it ends. 6/10
19. “Cujo” (1983)
The endless screaming child made the second half of this movie more painful than getting attacked by a rabid dog. 6/10
18. “Secret Window” (2004)
A faithful adaptation that is adapting a fairly middling story. 6/10
17. “The Dead Zone” (1983)
It’s so hard to picture Christopher Walken as a normal person. Baffling but intriguing casting. 6/10
16. “1922” (2017)
Thomas Jane’s southern accent was so thick I needed subtitles. 6/10
15. “Christine” (1983)
Very impressive practical car effects, but nothing else impressive outside of that. 6/10
14. “Pet Sematary” (2019)
I’ll defend the ending until the day I myself am buried. 6/10
13. “Carrie” (2013)
A satisfying and faithful adaptation of an important book. Chloë Grace Moretz is too pretty for the role though, I have to admit. 7/10
12. “It Chapter 2” (2019)
The most anticipated movie of my life and it didn’t let me down. Not too much anyway. 7/10
11. “Dolores Claiborne” (1995)
Emotionally powerful and filmed with a seamless flowing ease. 7/10
10. “The Mist” (2007)
An ending so good Stephen King said he wished he had thought of it. 8/10
9. “11/22/63” (2016)
Still nowhere near the level of the book, but it’s another adaptation given the perfect ending. 8/10
8. “It” (2017)
A movie that met and exceeded everyone’s expectations. It deserves all the praise it gets. 8/10
7. “Gerald’s Game” (2017)
A movie that includes a scene so tense and disgusting that I started yelling at the screen hoping that might make it end. 8/10
6. “Doctor Sleep” (2019)
The most impressive film on this list and a film that houses one of the best villain performances of all time. 8/10
5. “Stand By Me” (1986)
A film everyone should see and a film that everyone will love. 8/10
4. “The Green Mile” (1999)
The shortest and most emotional three hours of my life. 9/10
3. “The Shining” (1980)
So masterful that it spawned a series of increasingly ridiculous theories. Kubrick didn’t fake the moon landing guys, settle down. 9/10
2. “Misery” (1990)
One of the best thrillers ever made, the only Stephen King adaptation to get an Oscar and a movie that’s just as good as its source material. 10/10
1. “The Shawshank Redemption” (1994)
An objectively perfect movie that gets everything right and also manages to be better than its source material. 10/10
Stephen King adaptations are very unique pieces of history and they vary wildly in terms of quality. It’s still hard to believe that the movies that start and end this list are linked by the same author. However, as time goes on, the good adaptations stay at the surface and the bad ones sink to the depths of pop culture where they belong.
Feel free to watch any of these movies and form your own opinions, though obviously there are some I would recommend more than others. Maybe pick up one of his books. You never know how much it might impact you