Surviving a breakup

Health services, VPAS end healthy relationship week with lunch and learn event

Lunch and Learn series hosted by URI health services shares tips on how to survive a break-up. Illustration by: Maddie Bataille | Photo Editor

The University of Rhode Island and Health Services held Lunch and Learn: Surviving a Breakup on Friday, February 17, the last day of what Health Services called Healthy Relationship Week. The seminar discussed the ways in which people can move on after a breakup and how you can reach out if you or a friend are struggling.

“We always do it the week of Valentine’s Day because we think people are thinking about relationships during that holiday season,” said Jessica Greene, Assistant Director of Health Promotion and Wellness.

Greene hosted the seminar and started things off by showing the group a video produced by the nonprofit organization Onelove, a group that strives to end relationship abuse. The video told the story of two friends driving to Comic Con and trying to cope with a recent breakup one of the friends is suffering through.

Once the video was over, Greene turned her attention to the attendees and led a discussion about the film, asking attendees how they felt about the characters actions and whether or not they approved of them.

Greene and Kelley Ryan, the coordinator for Violence Prevention and Advocacy Services, take mental health and everything regarding relationships very seriously, from consent to understanding the different ways that relationships can end and the best way to move forward from them. 

“February lines up not only with Valentine’s Day but February is also teen dating violence awareness month,” Ryan said. “So being able to couple Valentine’s Day relationships with highlighting some teen dating violence makes this week a really great week to focus on relationships.” 

After the discussion, Greene passed out a few forms from Onelove that described the ten signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships, as well as a paper that asked questions about the Onelove video to help us further think about the relationship depicted. 

Greene and the attendees discussed what friends should and should not do if they need to help a friend through a breakup. For example, Greene mentioned that you should never put yourself in harm’s way or escalate things when trying to help a friend.

Greene also put heavy emphasis on the counseling center that URI has in Roosevelt Hall and the ways that people can reach out to them either in person or online by making an appointment or by using the My SSP (Student Support Program) App which provides free and confidential 24/7 phone and chat based support. She went on to discuss VPAS and how students can reach out to their confidential services whenever they feel it is necessary.

“Someone might mean well and have good intentions, but if that person takes things too far that could lead to stalking or harassment,” Green said.  “And in that case, it is always important to prioritize your own safety over someone else’s feelings.” 

Greene ended the seminar by discussing tips one can use to practice self care after a breakup. Tips such as sticking to usual daily routines, creating a positive environment by removing photos of one’s ex, knowing that it’s okay to feel sad but not letting it hinder your daily life, unfollowing people who make you feel upset, changing any shared passwords and keeping yourself occupied. 

Greene mentioned that the first 24 to 48 hours after a breakup are the most risky but as long as people have their ways to cope and ways to learn how to move forward and get the help they need, everything will be alright.

“[Starting college is] a really great time in someone’s life when they’re trying to figure out who they are and that also leads to shifts in relationships, so we see a lot of first year students who really need this safe space to kind of process it and talk a little bit about what’s going on,” Ryan said.

URI’s Health Services and VPAS are always willing to help students through any relationship issues they may be dealing with.