We live in a world where you can order Chipotle through a mobile app. So naturally, finding a person to go out with is also that convenient.
If you asked me a year ago how many online dating profiles I had, I would have been unashamed to tell you I had tried everything–OkCupid, Tinder, 3nder, Bumble, Clover, Plenty of Fish. Even JSwipe, and I’m not even Jewish.
I’ll admit it though, I was a Tinder fiend. Over the course of about a year and a half, I accumulated over 6,000 matches, a boyfriend, and countless stories, not necessarily at the same time.
We had a good run, Tinder and me. I had my fair share of hookups, booty calls, and catfishes. I loved the conversations. What other place can connect you to a real life Gypsy, an athlete who’s still in the closet, and a sexist republican with a Napoleon complex?
I did meet my ex boyfriend through Tinder, but that clearly wasn’t a success story. I understand why people find it so appealing; if love, sex, and human connections are just a swipe away, then why not?
That’s exactly why I deleted all of my dating profiles this semester. I don’t want a “why not” type of relationship. Call me old fashioned, but I want to give dating someone outside the realm of likes and super likes a try.
I think our generation is actually afraid of dating and being “tied down.” Historically marriage was about connecting families and exchanging money, like a kickstarter campaign for a good life. If you wanted to marry some rich guy’s daughter, you needed to prove yourself with a goat and a couple chickens.
Swipe based apps like Tinder are inherently superficial. In my experience, I swiped mostly when I was drunk, and at that point I never read any bios. The only time I would read through bios was when I was in the bathroom. If that’s not an accurate portrait of what dating in the twenty first century looks like, I don’t know what is.
Now all people care about are physical attributes, which is really Tinder’s whole algorithm. People only care about assets. For guys, it’s all about a girl’s bust, and for girls it’s all about a guy’s height. The moment I deleted my Tinder was when I read a bio that said “I’m 6’8”. Those are two measurements.”
I just wish our generation would revert back to meeting people in coffee shops and on public transit. I think it’s a much cuter story, too. When my kids ask me how their parents met, I want to tell them we met in college when I worked for the library and he needed help finding a book, not because I thought his first photo on Tinder was so hot that I super liked him.
I’m over the surface-level conversations based on looks that only lead to one night stands. Online dating created a place where people from anywhere can connect. It’s easy and convenient, exactly what our society craves.
Five percent of Americans who are in a committed relationship or marriage said they met their partner online. I want to be part of the 95 percent that hasn’t. Even though it makes me nervous and could eventually lead me to crazy cat lady status, I want to focus more on quality instead of quantity. I want to embrace the chase and challenge myself.
From my experience, the best relationships come from when you’re not looking for them. So while I’m not looking for a relationship right now, I am looking for lunch. I might just go and order Chipotle in person. Who knows who I’ll run into.