Whether you’re simply browsing the Corner Store or desperately searching to quench your thirst, bottled water seems to be a hot commodity at the University of Rhode Island.
Sure, most students carry (and clank) around their beloved Hydroflasks and Yetis, which is a whole separate debate to begin with. Regardless of your eco-friendly attitude, we have all fallen victim to using a plastic bottle every now and then.
The real question is: which bottled water brand is superior, and which falls short? Personally, I have some strong opinions after my first semester on campus.
5. Dasani
Let’s start with the absolute worst, which I believe most will agree with. Dasani water is at the bottom of the pyramid. It’s the type of water that people only drink to combat absolute anguish. If you catch me sipping on Dasani, it is most definitely a “no-bones day.” It leaves a lingering taste that makes me think the water was accidentally filtered through a dirty Brita. I’d rather drink out of a public fountain, or a “bubbla,” for all of you native Rhode Islanders. Plus, there is a lot of controversy regarding Dasani’s pH levels, which adds to my troubles with the brand. The Narragansett Bay sounds tasty when compared to a swig of Dasani. Taste ranking: 0/10.
4. Aquafina
Aquafina is basically Dasani’s distant relative. It’s a small step up in terms of taste, but still, I would never go out of my way for a sip. There tends to be this weird aftertaste that is very unsettling. In a pinch, it’ll do, but water from the tap is even better. Aquafina is somewhat sour and very off putting. Taste ranking: 3/10.
3. Fiji
In the middle of the pack would be Fiji. Drinking Fiji water almost feels like each and every molecule was created very specifically. Sometimes I swear I can taste the mineral differences. It definitely makes me feel bougie, but if I poured it in a glass, I wouldn’t know the difference between most other brands. Taste ranking: 5/10.
2. Poland Spring
Poland Spring is my ol’ reliable. It’s simple. It’s refreshing. It gets the job done without tasting like dirt. I would gladly buy a case of Poland Spring to get me through the apocalypse. Taste ranking: 8/10.
1. Smartwater
My favorite brand of water might be unpopular. Some people say it tastes tangy, and others think it’s too tasteless to be ranked. For me, Smartwater hits the taste buds just right. The water goes down smoother than any other brand, especially the alkaline variety. Something about Smartwater makes the drinking experience more enjoyable. Taste ranking: 10/10.
Don’t get me wrong: any type of water is better than no water at all. But with so many varieties around us, the taste differences start to become noticeable. I would much rather fill up a reusable bottle from the tap or with filtered tap water rather than wasting so much plastic. I’m sorry Dasani, but my disfavor is fairly justified. And Smartwater, if you ever need a sponsor, you know where to find me.
How do your water rankings compare?