Sciurus carolinensis – the Eastern Gray Squirrel is a rambunctious rodent known all around North American university campuses for their charisma and coexistence with students.
These resourceful omnivores can be seen prancing around campus and jumping tree to tree. Unlike some other woodland creatures, squirrels can thrive in suburbia. If you ask one, I’m sure they’ll say they would prefer the majesty of a North American temperate forest, but then again, who can say no to leftover, trashed and besmirched pizza? I know I certainly can’t.
I see the humble squirrel as a reflection of us college students. We are both curious yet skittish. We both hide things from peers. Our most eerily similar trait is the mutual ability to turn just about any type and amount of food into enough energy to run in circles all night.
On campus, the squirrel population is bountiful; if you look, you can almost always spot one when walking from class to class. Next time you see one, appreciate it. It may just appreciate you too. Just don’t get too close. They don’t like that, or so I have been told.
I encourage you all to cautiously try to befriend a campus squirrel. It’s not easy but it’s the only way to truly live a full life. Below I have provided some tips.
Eye contact is key.
They only will talk to you on Thursdays.
They don’t want your food, they want your acceptance.
They love gossip.
They prefer mathematics to the creative arts.
Your voice means nothing to them.
No need to open up to them, they already know and understand.
They can’t read now but be patient with them and hire a tutor.
They yearn for the stars.
Friendship is always up to you, it’s okay if it doesn’t work out.
