I hear my mom shouting for me from down the stairs. I roll my eyes, grab my DS and slowly start walking to the car. ‘I hate coming here,’ I say to myself as we pull up toward the entrance of my grandmother’s nursing home. It smells weird, people are groaning in pain and worst of all, I have to sit in a cramped room for hours.
Seeing my grandmother used to be my favorite thing in the world. Her and my grandfather would take me to Dunkin’ or out to breakfast all the time when I was younger. It was no secret that I was always the favorite grandchild. As she got older, it became harder and harder to see her in the pain that she was in. I never wanted to visit her and would often have to be dragged out of the house to visit.
Then that dreadful news was told to me. I didn’t know how to react. All I wanted was more time to say I’m sorry. I wanted nothing more than to go back to the place I dreaded so much. But I couldn’t, because she was gone.
A few months later, I was sitting in the kitchen with my mom.
“Look, it’s a cardinal,” my mom said.
‘We never see those usually,’ I thought to myself. That week we saw a cardinal three more times until my mom explained to me that cardinals were our ancestors reincarnated.
“Maybe Memere is watching over us,” I said.
My mom began to cry, and I’ll never forget her choking on the words “I miss my mom.” Nothing broke my heart more than seeing my strong and loving mother so weak in a moment of despair. I had always known I wanted to honor my mom and grandmother in a special way, but never knew how until that day when I was 15 years old.
In December 2023, I approached my tattoo artist with a concept, and he perfectly created my art. Together my artist and I sketched a cardinal resting on a piece of honeysuckle. Honeysuckle is the birth flower for those born in June, which is the month my mother was born in. The tattoo is meant to represent the cardinal, my grandmother, looking over my mom so we know she is always watching over us.
My mother is so important to me even when I don’t show it. She always gives me unconditional love and support no matter what. She deserves everything good in this world, and I will never know another woman like her.
I love you, Mommy and Memere.
