This is the third installment of a semester-long series that documents my exploration of faith on the University of Rhode Island campus. The goal is to sit down with every religious community on campus and learn about their religion and community.
This week I learned about the Buddhist Meditation community in Rhode Island through talking to Joanne Friday, a teacher in the lineage of Thich Nhat Hanh. I had zero knowledge of Buddhism going in, so everything she said was news to me.
Through this conversation, I learned Buddhism is pretty cool. Unlike the other religious communities I have explored, Buddhism isn’t about belief, but practice. There is no specific religion. It’s all about being mindful.
This is how Joanne explained it to me: Before we’re born, our minds all have the same potential. Your emotions are like seeds, some represent happy, sad, anger, etc.
Everyone is born with the same seeds. Depending on which seeds get well-watered or ignored will set one’s condition. In other words, the environment you are raised in will train your mind to react to different situations. If you grow up with a lot of criticism and judgment, you will be defensive in general. How you choose to spend your time will condition your mind.
It’s a choice. If you choose to be in a dark environment with people that irritate you, you’re going to have a different experience than one who chooses to spend their time in environments that make them happy.
The Buddhist practice is about knowing your condition. It’s about paying attention to these strengths and weaknesses. Let’s say I was a Buddhist and someone said something to me that hurts my feelings. I am supposed to wait 24 hours before I respond. This way I won’t respond with my emotions and regret it. I will have time to think – am I reacting from something in the past in my own life? Is this about the person who hurt me or myself? If it still bothers me after 24 hours, I make an appointment with the person to discuss it.
Then, at the appointment, I tell the person three things that I appreciate about them. This will soften both of our hearts, Joanne said, and we will become closer. Then, if it’s still on my mind, I let them know what bothered me.
Joanne said if you hold onto resentment and anger, you are a prisoner. You will be so focused on what angered you, it will keep you from living free.
Then she told me this story. And warning – it’s a great story.
Years ago, Joanne went on this meditation retreat that her teacher organized. Her teacher is Vietnamese and lived in Vietnam during the war. He had friends and family that died because of the war. This retreat was held for Vietnam veterans in America. (First of all, as she was telling me this, I was amazed that this man could organize a retreat for American veterans after loved ones died in the war. That alone speaks greatly about Buddhism’s philosophies.)
Anyway, there was this veteran who doesn’t appear to be in good condition. He was all skin and bones, and looked miserable. He approached her and her teacher and said during the war, he and a couple other soldiers were the only ones to live from his patrol after some kind of explosion or battle. In a response to this, they planted explosives in sandwiches and set them on the side of the road. They stood nearby and waited for the Vietnamese to grab a sandwich.
They watched five children grab the sandwiches and die. The veteran said since then, he has not been able to live with himself. When a child walks into a room, he has to leave. Joanne’s teacher responds by telling the man he has to accept it. He told the man he should focus on helping five children a day for the rest of his life. Then, years later, they see the veteran again and the veteran looks completely different. He looks healthy and almost unrecognizable.
That’s the power of Buddhism. It’s not about admitting your wrongs to a God or praying yourself out of trouble. It’s about practice. Her teacher didn’t tell the veteran to look to God to fix his problem. He told the veteran a way to escape being a prisoner of himself – reality is what you make it.
Now, before I run out of word count, let me explain the community. This is not a URI community. URI students join the meditations on occasion, but it’s bigger than URI.
There are six meditation groups in Rhode Island. The group in South County meets in different places for group meditation. It’s usually about 15-30 people, almost all adults. Joanne said, everyone is accepted and there are no conflicts with religion or beliefs. If you are interested, go to a meeting.
For students, she recommended, you might feel more comfortable if you go with a friend. Visit JoanneFriday.com for more information and meeting times and locations.