A stan of Taylor Swift discusses her love for the popular pop artist. Photo from pitchfork.com.
The phrases, “there were five holes in the fence,” “I’m not asleep, my mind is alive,” “no its becky,” “1, 2, 3 let’s go b*tch,” “vehicular manslaughter” and the number 13 all have one thing in common, and that is that they are inside jokes within Taylor Swift’s fandom.
But, if you’re not a die-hard Swift fan like me, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about.
I’ve been a Taylor Swift fan since I was six, and 12 years later, I still have the highest respect and love for her. However, I’ve toned down how public I am about it.
My middle school-self wore big cat-eye glasses, winged eyeliner and even sometimes a red lip to school, all inspired by Miss Swift herself. I was in middle school during her “1989” era and had all of the merch. My particular favorite piece was a replica of her vintage seagull sweater, the one she wore on the album cover.
Although I expressed my love for her through my outfit quite often at school and in public, I was never in full fangirl mode until I logged onto my fan account.
My Taylor Swift-themed Instagram, named after her cat, had over 2,000 followers and gave me a sense of community, one that I didn’t have among my friends or peers.
However, 2015, my prime time as a fan, was the year everybody decided to hop on the “I hate Taylor Swift” bandwagon, and I honestly felt embarrassed to love her as much as I did.
I ended up deleting my fan account. I didn’t want anyone to find out I had it, but it was something significant and special to me. Having a fan account let me fangirl without being made fun of, and I was able to talk to other people who could relate to me.
Now, as a freshman in college, I’ve found friends who love Taylor as much as I do (shoutout to staff reporter Leah Popovic) and some others that are starting to listen and appreciate her music.
I’ve seen Taylor on tour for every album since “Speak Now,” and I was supposed to go to my rescheduled LoverFest East concert this upcoming summer. The last time I saw Taylor was in 2018, so last week when I heard she canceled her upcoming tour, I let it ruin my entire mindset. This was especially upsetting because my childhood best friend, Halie, and I were supposed to go together.
The pandemic has taken something away from everyone, but until we can make our way back to normalcy, I’m going to take comfort in assuming she has a million ideas up her sleeve.
The fact that it’s already March of the new year, and it’s been a full year since we went into lockdown for the first time astonishes me. If things keep going the way they have been, you might be able to find me back in my full-fledged fangirl mode, fan account and all.
For all of your sakes, however, let’s hope that doesn’t happen.
For anyone reading this who has not yet discovered the magical powers of Taylor Swift’s music, you can listen to my curated “Taylor Swift Master List” on Apple Music.