Resource groups aim to help students avoid abusive relationships
One in five college-age students has reported being abused or sexually assaulted by their partners during their time in college, according to Kelley Ryan, coordinator of Violence Prevention and Advocacy Services (VPAS) at the University of Rhode Island.
Ryan talked a lot about domestic violence and sexual assault by defining them and how there are multiple forms of abuse such as physical, mental and emotional abuse. She mentioned that a lot of cases of sexual assault happen on campus and they sometimes don’t get reported right away
“So I work with students who are impacted by interpersonal violence, which are crimes that utilize power control and intimidation over an individual,” Ryan said. “Most commonly, when we talk about college-age students, we’re talking about sexual assault, and we’re talking about dating and domestic violence.”
She explained that many of the people she sees as the coordinator of VPAS aren’t just women or straight couples; same-sex couples and men also come in to talk with her about their experiences with dating and domestic violence.
“Nationally, one in four LGBTQ+ students report domestic and dating violence, and that’s actually the highest rate,” Ryan said. “I also see students in a variety of partnerships who have been impacted.”
Catherine McNamara, a third-year biological science major on a pre-PA track, is the assistant vice president of philanthropy for Alpha Chi Omega, a sorority whose national philanthropy, or specific fundraising concern, is domestic violence awareness.
She said that many men who openly discuss their abuse in a relationship they have experienced face a stigma. In recent years it’s been a lot easier for women to talk about their experiences rather than men in heterosexual couples because a lot of them feel ashamed of being abused by a woman.
“So, women have really, in recent years, have come out telling their stories a lot more,” McNamara said. “I think it’s significantly harder for men to talk about it, really. Because there’s a whole stigma of men having power and men always being more dominant.”
Ryan talked about how there are some noticeable red flags that people can see in abusive relationships. She said that one of the biggest red flags is noticing a change in someone’s availability and them being more isolated from their friends and family than usual.
“Red flags typically [include] controlling behaviors, criticizing an individual, humiliating an individual, and fighting between a couple knowing that usually whatever is said in front of others, it’s usually 10 times worse alone behind closed doors,” Ryan said.
Overhearing fighting between couples and noticing marks on victims are also very strong signs of physical abuse. Changes in attitude and avaiablilty are also warning signs of mental and emotional abuse Ryan and McNamara talked about.
McNamara said that to better help these victims, they also work closely with the Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County (DVRCSC). The sorority holds an event every year on March 1st called “Her Day,” where they do activities, such as making blankets and raising money to help the DVRCSC.
“It supports women of South County, giving them a safe haven where they can go in, have protection, be anonymous and basically get the women back on their feet so that they can go and restart their lives completely,” McNamara said.
According to Ryan, it is important to be supportive and believe someone who talks to you about being abused by their partner. She said that people who report that they are being abused in any form have better outcomes when it comes to healing as well as receiving help from others.
“Students are the number one factor in that students go to friends before they go to professional staff most of the time,” Ryan said. “We want students to understand the importance of you may not be able to immediately help your friend, and you may not be able to ‘fix it,’ but if you support me, believe them, it makes all the difference.”
According to her, being a friend and trusting your gut about a situation like this is very important in helping and healing victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. To learn more about how you can help someone going through this issue or to report someone, you can visit the VPAS website.