Feminist empowerment has become the anthem of womanhood. We wear it on T-shirts, tote bags and it’s embedded in our vocabulary. We’ve been told from a young age to be independent, ambitious, self-loving and untouchable. But lately, as I sit across from girlfriends who are top of the class, creators and changemakers, I can’t help but wonder: in the age of “I don’t need a man,” have we made it unfashionable to simply want to be adored?
Craving affection when society has handed us permission to be self-sufficient is a different kind of shame. We’ve fought hard to prove we don’t need to be chosen to be complete. We are able to build our own lives and pay our own rent. But as much as we celebrate our independence, there is a piece of us who wants to be someone’s person.
We don’t want to be adored in the performative way but rather in the quiet, soul-level way. The kind that happens when someone sees you, really sees you, and decides that your flaws and chaos are worth loving. The kind of adoration that doesn’t shrink you, but reflects back your power.
Feminism taught us that our value isn’t tied to love or validation. But it also gave us something even more radical: choice — the choice to define what fulfillment means to us. Maybe, for some of us, that includes boardrooms and bedrooms. The truth is, women no longer have to choose between a career and love. We can be ambitious and adored, powerful and partnered all at once.
My mother’s generation was told they couldn’t have it all. Mine was told to choose: pursue a career or settle down fast, but never both. Yet here I am, writing from my bed, knowing that somewhere across the world there’s a brilliant young girl who might already be a better journalist than I’ll ever be. Still, I have the privilege of being both: a woman with ambition and one who is loved.
Wanting to be adored doesn’t make us less independent. It makes us whole. Because feminism isn’t about putting our desires in the shadows – it’s about having the freedom to own them. The freedom to lead, to love and to ask for both without feeling guilt.
Maybe empowerment doesn’t mean rejecting adoration. Maybe it means finding someone who celebrates your success, who cheers for your dreams even if they seem impossible to reach. Find someone who looks at your strength and isn’t intimidated but rather inspired.
So yes, I want to be adored; I am adored, and for that I am so grateful, not because I need it, but because I deserve it. Being loved doesn’t erase my power; it magnifies it.
And as I wake up every morning, I realize: the modern woman doesn’t have to choose between success and love anymore. True equality is realizing that we can be the woman who runs the meetings and the one who’s kissed goodnight.
