I never envisioned myself in a long-distance relationship, especially in my first one. I’ll say what everyone else says about long-distance: it’s hard, and it’s an adjustment. There are days when it is manageable and some days when it’s absolute hell.
I miss the little things about being close to someone. Having random little conversations about nothing, laughing and just having someone near me. Even if we’re on our phones in the same room, our legs touching is something I miss more than I thought I would.
Being able to see someone when I want to is one of the biggest things I miss while being long-distance. I don’t like having to plan multiple weeks in advance to see the person I love. That being said, the anticipation of finally being able to see someone makes it worth it.
How we stay connected during the time apart is crucial, though. As they say, communication is key; they don’t lie about that. Sometimes it is very hard for me to communicate my feelings, and that is when arguments start, or there are misunderstandings. It is a skill that has definitely gotten better as time has gone on in our relationship.
In any relationship, there is always fluctuation; there will be highs and lows. In my experience, long-distance exacerbates those highs and lows. When there is an argument, I tend to sit with my feelings longer than I would if I were physically present with him. It doesn’t help that most of the arguments come over text.
Text messages are evil sometimes. It’s impossible to understand tone most of the time, and this is where I tend to run into most of my problems. He’ll send something, and I’ll interpret it wrong or vice versa. It then becomes a whole thing that it didn’t need to be.
In reality, my long-distance isn’t that bad; it’s only six and a half hours. I’m fortunate that my boyfriend has the time to come see me as frequently as possible with our busy schedules. I do still take on a much heavier mental load when long-distance starts again, though.
I feel lonely, and learning to trust a person being so far away is difficult. There are insecurities with this being my first real relationship. I have to watch myself sometimes. Overthinking becomes common, and I wish I didn’t do it. I read too much into certain things or get frustrated with him over nothing just to pick a fight sometimes.
These relationship aspects are things I do when we are physically together, but I feel it more when we are apart. I’ve learned a lot about myself, particularly that I am stronger mentally and emotionally than I thought I was before. I still have weak moments, as I mentioned, but don’t we all?
I wouldn’t say long distance has been easy, but some aspects of it have gotten easier. School keeps me occupied, and that makes the time go by faster. I’m thankful that I have someone so supportive of me trying to chase my dreams and continue my education; it’s the bare minimum, I know.
Knowing I have someone in my corner even from 400 miles away keeps me grounded and pushes me twice as hard. I know that when I’m done with school, we will face more challenges, but I’m determined to make this work as long as we’re both happy. I know that commitment needs to be two-sided.
I’m thankful that I am with someone who can withstand the pressures and the turmoil that come with long-distance. I’m hopeful that there is something rewarding at the end of all of this. I have learned a lot about myself in the last year while being long-distance, and I am grateful for it.
