Rosé Toi: Aura Chief – Vaping or Zyn-ing. If you’re going to have a crippling addiction, don’t look like you’re sucking on a USB stick or chewing tobacco like a 1960s man. Have some decorum and smoke a cigarette.
Fella Squirtz: Sadie’s Assistant – My ick is men who are so controlling of their girlfriends, especially when a girl goes out to a club. She doesn’t need to bring you; let a girl go out and have some fun. If you’re in a healthy relationship, trust is mutual. Just say you’re insecure.
Queso Can’t-See: Brain-rot Editor – My ick is men who act like whiny kids who annoy you on purpose. Even dating an older guy, he’d make a big deal over everything. How was I the mature one in a two-year relationship? Whoever is ready for a relationship or is currently in one, read these and take notes.
Abuelita Gazette: Cigar Room Nanny – No more fake mascs. Running amok in the Target men’s section, all the while being no more butch than the average eldest daughter. Give it up, princess, I’ll get the door.
Jill Serve: Farts & Culture Editor – Spitting. It truly disturbs me when a grown adult is out in public and decides to spit in the grass or on the pavement. I get that sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, but head to the bathroom or, at the very least, get away from me. If I’m standing on a balcony and a person leans over the railing to spit, I can promise I’m walking back inside.
Yo Adams: Ball Watcher – If you are a full-grown adult and can’t trust yourself to decide what’s right for you, then what are we doing here? Live your own life. I promise your friend and their past experiences don’t dictate how things will always end up, especially when that person you’re taking advice from isn’t where you want to be.
Sora AI Cootie: Porno & Boudoir Editor – Stop using slang from 2016. Please grow up and learn new words. I know you can do it; the rest of us do.
Morganne Judge Judy: Casting director – My ick is weird pet names in relationships. Being called sayings such as “honey buns,” “hot mama,” or “snuggle butt” is just weird. Names like those send such a disgusting chill throughout my body. Who is actually calling people these names, and if you are, please stop.
Maia Hufflepuff: Rubber duck Manager – If you constantly feel the need to out-niche someone, I’m icked out by you. It’s fun to share interests! It’s cool to like things! You can have your own opinion, but not liking something for the SOLE reason of it being popular isn’t as cool as you think it is.
