As the long-term effects of the Ozempidemic only begin to appear on our horizon, it is crucial for the well-being of young women that we talk more frankly about the realities of weight loss.
I’m 5-foot-nothing. I have fluctuated about 100 or so pounds throughout my adult life. There is a particular truth that I wish someone had told me when I started counting calories and fighting for my life on the StairMaster years ago.
Ladies, I am shaking you by the shoulders when I say this. Losing weight will not substantially improve your dating life.
What might change is the number of people in your dating pool, the number willing to approach you or the number who will publicly admit they are attracted to you (there are always more than you think). What does not change is their intentions and character.
I can promise you that being a smaller size will not make people love you better in any way that matters.
If you consider any evidence: some of the most conventionally attractive women in the world get absolutely dogged by men who probably don’t even wash their faces on a regular basis (Megan Thee Stallion, Beyoncé, the list goes on).
They don’t magically start planning dates. They don’t start texting more. They don’t start remembering the little things. They don’t stop looking at other women. And to be completely honest, the sex doesn’t really get better.
This is another point that often gets left out of the conversation around body image and dating. More people might want to take you home, but in my experience, the number of those people who will really show you a remarkable evening does not increase.
There is something to be said about less self-consciousness improving our sexual experience. But I present another annoying reality here: that self-consciousness won’t necessarily go away with weight loss.
You might have loose skin. You might have stretch marks. Your body will likely still maintain its general shape as it loses fat in a way that may disappoint you. Most importantly, you are not immune to a society that profits from inventing new insecurities the second we conquer the old ones.
I am not arguing that lifestyle changes like exercising and eating a healthier diet have no intrinsic reward. They absolutely do. But as women, our dating lives only truly improve with self-respect.
Once we stop believing there’s any limit to our ability to be loved and desired, we have nothing to lose. That doesn’t happen until we stop viewing our bodies as endless projects.
So if they don’t see you, lose them. Hold that double chin up high and demand the same treatment you might assume your skinny peers receive. Talk to your skinny friends, and you will likely find that they’re not exactly living a Disney fairytale in the dating world either.
Get a burger together. Block the GLP-1 ads. Be free.
